I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
