I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
