well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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