every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
