dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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