walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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