Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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