the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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