so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
