just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
