yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
