Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
