Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
