I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
