I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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