come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
