I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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