can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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