p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
