Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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