Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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