yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
