Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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