I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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