Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
