so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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