I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize