lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize