Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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