omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
