i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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