we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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