remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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