It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
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Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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