She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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