it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
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