champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
