I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
