i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
