I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.