I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.