Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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