I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?