Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.