dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?