i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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