dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
barbara walters just said penis...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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