It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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