office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
