there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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