Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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