i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
