It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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