So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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