so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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