my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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