I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
