She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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