Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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