Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Enjoy the penises
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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