He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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