what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
