you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
