am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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